When you were a child, did you pour over Children’s Highlights when you paid a visit to the pediatrician? Remember “Goofus and Gallant”?  Goofus did everything wrong, and Gallant did everything right.   Well, when my daughter’s freshman year ended, and it was time to move her belongings from California back to Texas, we did everything the Goofus way. 

I don’t even want to recall every single thing we did incorrectly.  First of all, it didn’t occur to us that moving out of a dorm was a big deal.  We had no idea that she needed parental help.  What were we thinking????   We weren’t thinking that students move out the very second finals are over, and there is no time for pre-planning – so, everything is done in a panic. 

 The low point was when my daughter, laden down with a huge box to send home, accepted a ride from somebody she had never seen before in her life, and was dropped off at a post office –  5 miles away –  that wasn’t open.  There was the long line to return the dorm key, there were text books to resell to the bookstore, there were items to be left at the sorority house, there was an early afternoon plane to catch.  It was utter chaos.

 If you have an out-of-state daughter, here are the simple rules for moving her out of the dorm:

1)       She can’t move out of the dorm by herself.  Somebody in the family needs to fly out, rent a car, and assist.

2)       Two words:  storage unit.  About March, make plans to rent a storage unit.  Even the smallest storage unit can accommodate the mind-boggling amount of belongings of up to 3 sorority sisters…so the space can be shared and the cost can be divided.

  3)       When utter calm descends because her belongings are safely tucked into the storage unit, and you and she are dining at the most expensive and famous restaurant in town, and are spending the night at a cute bed and breakfast because your plane doesn’t take off until the next day, you will know you’ve made it into the Gallant zone.

You know those bumper stickers that say, “My money and my daughter go to ______ College”?  Ha ha – I get it – tuition, room/board, sorority dues, text books, basic hygiene supplies, etc.  I was expecting that.  But it has taken me three years to figure out why my daughter continually needs to augment the fortune we’ve already poured out for the above.

I think it’s sorority and fraternity costume parties. 

My money and my daughter are going to a LOT of costume parties.  I think she told me once that on her campus there are at least two costume parties to look forward to each weekend. 

A tip-of-the-iceberg sampling of themes:  9 to 5 – Where the Wild Things Are – Comic Book – Proud to be an American – East Coast – Spies and Allies – Rep your Area Code – Shipwreck – Jack Frost – Famous Couples – King Kong – Seven Virtues – Grandparents – Fairytales – What I Want to Be -  Holiday – South Seas – Decades – Zoo – Things that Start with “A” – Murder Mystery

Oh my gosh.  How do I feel about this?  Good.

My daughter goes to college in a crazy, high-crime, scary area.  Because the parties on this campus bring all members of the Greek system together, everyone knows everyone.  This is a community – a united front – that can work together and protect each other.  And they do.  From what I have seen, I would give this campus Greek system high grades for open communication and prompt support.  It makes this an okay home away from home.

 But about the costumes?  Apparently a lot of girls invest in colorful American Apparel basics (stock tip?), re-using them over and over, garnishing them with ribbon, glitter, feathers, and assorted accessories to achieve their look for the evening.  Sounds like fun!  My daughter and my money are having fun, but it is actually more important than “fun”, and I approve.  Don’t you think sometimes our money is surprisingly well spent?

OK, I am never asked, but when I hear parents and their high school daughters talking about college sororities, I insinuate myself into the conversation and get pushy about making sure that the daughters plan to go through recruitment.

Why?

Because sorority membership sets up a support system for life.

The collegiate years – There is a lot of ready information about how a sorority makes these four years a happier experience, with enthusiastic assistance offered in scholarly pursuits, leadership opportunities, philanthropic traditions and social activities.  All right, side-bar:  Yes, I know that lots of people picture “Animal House” when they think of the Greek system.  Aside from being a grotesque characterization of sorority life, do you really think there are no questionable choices made in dorms or apartments?  But I digress…

The lengthy “after collegiate years” time span – This is when the benefits of sorority membership really kick in, in a manner not found in any other type of organization – this is what propels me to forcefully encourage daughters to sign up for recruitment.  Fast forward 15 years – where will our daughters be?  Transferred across the country?  Looking for a new job?  Running a campaign?  Dealing with a family issue?

NPC sororities have alum clubs, world wide, cheerfully offering:  advice – local business referrals – graduate scholarships –  employment networking – and most importantly, a guaranteed comfort zone of sincere friendship.  Having moved to five different states since I graduated from college (or as half the country says, “graduated college”), I can report that the transitions were easier, happier, and more productive because of the sorority alums in each new location.

So, back on my soapbox:  as a parent, I wouldn’t feel like I was doing my job if I didn’t set up a situation for my child that would insure this life-time of sisterly support.  That means I simply couldn’t imagine my daughter – or anybody else’s – not going through sorority recruitment.