We received a question from a parent wondering the proper flowers to send to her daughter for sorority initiation.

If you would like to send flowers, the 26 NPC organizations’ flowers, colors, and history are located at npcwomen.org.  A card or phone call would be a welcome alternative to congratulate any new initiate.

We received a question from a parent wondering what happens if her daughter transfers schools during college and how this may affect her sorority membership.

Membership in a sorority is truly for a lifetime.  Once you become a member of a Panhellenic sorority, that membership stays with you throughout college and your alumnae years.  If your daughter transfers during college to another university that has a chapter from the same organization, the ability to join that chapter is available.  Since membership is for a lifetime, NPC groups do not allow members to become initiates of more than one sorority. Instead, we encourage members who transfer to campuses without their organization to become involved with alumnae chapter activities in the area, where the members continue to make friendships, participate in community service, and grow as individuals.  

Whether women join an alumnae group after graduation or upon a transfer during college, sorority membership connects women with alumnae from all walks of life. Networking opportunities, help in a career search or advice about a new city are just a few ways lifetime membership helps sorority women stay connected.

The way I see it, my role as “academic enhancement enchantress” expired the minute my daughter got an acceptance letter from the college of her choice.  I gleefully tendered my resignation from the text books – exams - group projects – report cards cheer squad.  There must be loads of moms (kind moms, patient moms) out there who thrive in the homework hovering experience, but I feel free as a lark to be done with this part of the parenting job.

But – when our daughters take off for college, do they jump from our environment of 110% study support to floating in the winds of academia like a dandelion fleck?  Isn’t this a bit of a largish transition?  The good news for parents is, just because we have relinquished our supervisory roles, doesn’t mean that our daughters will stop receiving scholastic encouragement…not if they are members of a sorority.

NPC sororities (their officers and local alums) seem to be keenly interested in seeing that their chapters maintain high grades.  On most campuses, it is important and prestigious to be the sorority earning the highest combined GPA for a particular semester.  To this end, a variety of motivating programs are in place -

• scholarship dinners, professors nights
• weekly awards for quiz grades, semester awards for high GPAs, chapter and inter/national sorority-based scholarships
• quirky, fun awards for things like best combined Big Sister/Little Sister GPAs
• some chapters print up a review of courses which reveal the inside scoop regarding captivating, entertaining, and/or reasonable professors
• “Dinner by Major” – sorority sisters who share the same major dine together, to discuss which classes are valuable, which to avoid, which to take which semester, career paths, related summer internships, etc.

Wouldn’t you say that this is a definite PLUS to sorority membership?  To sum up, if your daughter is a member of a sorority, this significant, historical organization is interested in your daughter’s grades!  I feel smug when I consider that it requires a large organization (many of the NPC groups are well over 100,000 strong in terms of all the collegians and all of the alums) to take over where I left off!

One final thought – will anybody in any of the alternative collegiate living arrangements take any sort of  interest in our daughters’ academic pursuits?

It is the Sunday before we move Mary Claire into her college residence hall room and we are all fatigued and emotional. We have made so many runs to Bed Bath and Beyond that I have officially run out of my giant blue and white 20% off coupon postcards that have been sitting dog eared in a folder in the car! Strewn all over the kitchen table are brooms that Mary Claire has painted…one last art project to be experienced by us all with her paint blotches all over  paper grocery sacks and Styrofoam plates. It is a welcome mess and I wonder if all the color will slowly fade from our house once she is gone. I will miss the canvas and the brushes but mostly the colors that exuded from them as they spilled out of Mary Claire’s imagination!  Her Dad and I fall into bed that night exhausted and shed a few tears. I think we are sad because we still remember what it was like the day we brought her home from St. Elizabeth’s 18 years ago.  It is a mixture of melancholy, regret for things left undone or unsaid, loneliness and love. Time has simply flown by…

It is Monday and we are up bright and early loading the car.  MC’s little brothers head to campus with us to help haul box upon box up to her room. Later, Rich takes the boys home and grabs our oldest son now home from football practice. The two of them pick up a purchased Futon and deliver it to the room.  I t feels nice to have Mary Claire’s brother’s involved in this process. They don’t realize how much they will miss her presence in our home. Good thing we live in town b/c we ended up taking three huge boxes of clothes, etc., BACK home.  She had to edit…what on earth do folks do when they drive from miles away? ;-0   Mary Claire is excited but nervous and perhaps lonely as her roommate will not be moving in until the end of the week. She chose to go ‘potluck’ and was assigned a nice young woman from Beatrice NE. Her name is Leah and she is not going through recruitment but is in the honors program with Mary Claire.  I hope they will learn to enjoy one another. And, I also hope Mary Claire rearranges her clothes and things to only occupy HALF of this tiny room?!  Oh my.

Before we said our goodbyes that afternoon, Mary Claire’s recruitment guide stopped in and was an energetic soul with a wonderful sense of humor and a sincere enthusiasm for Greek life.  We learned there are 13 young women on MC”s floor going through recruitment and they will be in a small group together. Their orientation and first meeting is tonight and tomorrow Sorority Recruitment officially begins. We left Mary Claire and knew she was about to experience an incredible week, forging new friendships and growing in her independence.

As I close this entry I want to say a little something about texting.  I have never in the past been a fan and have made it my passion in some of my educational endeavors to encourage young adults and youth to see the importance of face to face and voice to voice communication. Developing interpersonal skills as one matures is key to having healthy relationships. However, I have seen over the past few years as my kids have entered high school that there is a place for this more technically oriented mode of communication. I encourage all parents of teenagers to at least learn the basics of sending and receiving text messages so they can connect with their young adults. (This younger generation has embraced texting as their main form of connecting with one another and often responds to a text much quicker than even a voice mail on their cell phone or an email. I do believe there is no going back!)

I am not planning on hovering over Mary Claire by any means and am a believer in the healthy launching of these incredibly capable young human beings. However, Sunday evening as I turned in for the evening, I received a ‘goodnight’ text from Mary Claire.  I imagine she was lonely in that dorm room by herself and being able to connect briefly with her made us both get a better night sleep.   The adventure begins tomorrow…

Hello again. My name is Mary Beth Rice and I am the mother of a potential new member going through recruitment this month at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (UNL).  Mary Claire is my oldest and only daughter so both of us are transitioning to a new place; she is leaving home and setting off on her college adventure and I am trying to redefine my role as her mother and as a mother who will now be living with only people heavily laden in testosterone?!  (My very own Guy land?) Off topic but, seriously, if you have sons you must read the book Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel. My friend suggested I dive right into it to try and save my men as a diversion from my melancholy mood brought about by Mary Claire leaving the nest?!  Couldn’t hurt…and the book, so far,  is enlightening yet sobering.

I describe myself as Panhellenically  ”well rounded”since I am a Delta Gamma with a Pi Beta Phi mother, an Alpha Phi sister in law, a dear Tri Delta aunt, a Pi Beta Phi cousin, and a Gamma Phi Beta niece.  My husband, Rich (a Sigma Chi), and I have four children ranging in ages 8 to 18 and their Godparents are comprised of two Delta Gammas, a Gamma Phi Beta, a Kappa Kappa Gamma, a Sigma Alpha Epsilon and a Sigma Phi Epsilon.  Many of my close friends in Lincoln happen to be Kappa Alpha Thetas.

I have enjoyed volunteering on our local Delta Gamma Advisory Team, serving as Chapter Advisor for a number of years and have always been a member of our local Alumnae group.  At UNL I have also served the Panhellenic office in a number of roles and have provided leadership training for the 40+ recruitment guides on campus who assist the potential new members each fall in having a memorable and successful experience.  When I am not mentoring, transporting, or mothering the four young people in my life, I facilitate relational retreats for various groups and social leadership/etiquette seminars for youth. I recently wrote a seminar curriculum for middle school students entitled CLASS: a social requirement for youth and teens^TM.

I share these things about myself with you because I want to bring home the point that the Greek system has enriched my life with so many wonderful relationships!  My wish for Mary Claire is that she has an incredible recruitment and sorority experience that will provide that spark in creating her own lifetime friendships. Friends ask me if I desperately want her to be a Delta Gamma.  Of course, there would be nothing more special than to have her share that bond with me, but what I want the most for her is to find that group of women with whom she can be totally authentic …where the chemistry is so ‘on’  that deep relationships are forged immediately and last forever. If that means that she is a DG, then we will be doubly blessed. More on all this later…I look forward to hearing from you…